Unknown Pain {Jaycub}

[Charity Denvers]

You told me it would be okay;
You told me that I would be live;
Were you only lying to save my feelings?
Was it all a lie?

Charity sat on a large rock behind the large water fall that completed the picture perfect image of the coven. Alot of the teenagers around the island hung out together here. Charity only went here to think. She came to think about her life and what direction it was going. And how much she had left of it.

Charity held her knees close to her chest as she sat there watching the water flow in front of her, periodocially splashing her gently in the face. She didn't mind, it felt good sometimes. All she could think about was her consoltation with her doctor earlier that day.

"It's spread a bit, but nothing to fret too much over. We'll just kick up your dosage first then have you come in. No need to be scared, Charity, we have faith."

Faith? Faith in what? Her dying because that was inevitable. She shuddered as she thought about the idea of no longer existing in the world. Would it matter when she finally passed on? Would anyone care? Who knew...

Charity brushed hair out of her face and licked her pale lips. She had a small attack later after the doctor's visit but she let it go unnoticed to him. She wasn't about to be a pathetic little cry baby about her disease. She was going to fight it, try and get it to die on it's own, hopefully not taking her with it. She looked down at her hand as she watched blood drip down onto her palm, from her lip. She wiped her mouth and licked the blood free from it. It was getting worse, like the battle she was fighting was all in vain.

Charity felt a tear stream down her face as she stared at the waterfall for the longest time. She then shuddered again as a sob broke from her. She was alone, trying to get over this. Zurrenity and Jaycub, most of the time, were a big help. But there was so much other people could do. Jaycub didn't know about her condition, no one did. Except for Zurry and her doctors. She didn't see why she should tell Jaycub, it would only push him away. Wasn't that what she wanted? No, it wasn't. She wanted him close to her, not far away. Her feelings for the boy were utterly confusing but what was she going to do?

Nothing....

[Jaycub Johnson]

Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard...
Oh, take me back to the start.

Jaycub walked along the shore, not lifting his gaze to meet the glare of the water. He just watched his shoes as he walked, not bothering to look up even when he heard voices or giggles filling the air. They all seemed so far away from him, that he knew by the time he lifted his gaze to meet them, they would be gone, but hey, that was life for you. Just when you thought you understood it, everything just distanced itself from you.

Everything always faded away.

Jaycub sighed to himself as he continued walking, not really even sure where he was going, but his heart seemed to know. It was beating faster and faster, jumping a little when he lifted his gaze and saw Charity sitting by the waterfall. He tilted his head to the side when he saw her holding her knees to her chest, something which he usually did when he was upset, not to mention that there was something else bothering him about her, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweater, which he wore even if it wasn't cold, Jaycub made his way over to her. Not saying a word, he walked up to stand beside her and just stood there, looking out at the waterfall too. He stood perfectly still, not flinching when the water splashed his face a little. It was rather refreshing, actually.

[Charity Denvers]

Charity looked up to see Jaycub standing there, looking at the waterfall like she was. It was time to stop being self-loathing. It was the guy that she couldn't stand. And, ironically, the guy of her dreams.

Jaycub didn't know that she was dying, didn't know that she was slowly wasting away to nothing, even when the doctors reported some improvement. Charity knew that it wasn't good, until her body told her. She looked back to the waterfall and away from Jaycub. What was she supposed to say to him? Hey, hows it going? No, that wouldn't suffice.

"What are you doing here?" Charity asked as she looked back up at him slowly, her hair damp from being behind the waterfall this whole time. She looked away and sighed, closing her eyes before she stood up. She ran her hand through her damp hair and looked back up at him.

"Hey.." She said, trying again, being more civil with the guy she couldn't stand yet couldn't get enough of. He was torturedly adorable and whenever they fought, all she wanted to do was hug him. She then sighed, shoving her hands into her pockets as she tasted the metallic flavor of her own blood in her mouth. She coughed slightly and then spit toward the waterfall, red spraying on a rock but disappearing as soon as the water hit it.

"Sorry..just on edge." She said and looked up at him slowly as she licked her lips. She then looked down as she stood beside him and returned her gaze to the never ending waterfall.

[Jaycub Johnson]

Jaycub turned his head to look at her when she spoke, but he didn't say anything. He just stared at her, noticing how damp her hair was, which happened to be incredibly hott. A smile tugged on the corners of his lips at her hostility, one that he couldn't hide, even as he looked back out into the waterfall again. He pretended like he didn't hear her, just staring out into the water, narrowing his eyes sharply when he noticed a spot of crimson red, which quickly disappeared as soon as he had laid his eyes upon it.

His smile quickly turned into a concerned frown, his eyes going over to her face as she spoke yet again, excusing herself. "Why are you doing that?" he asked confused, not sure why she was apologizing. He lightly bit his lower lip as he stared at her, before looking back out into the water, blinking a few times now. "You're not telling me something," Jaycub said as he turned away from her. "If you wanted me to leave, you could've just said so."

He was concerned and confused, and he just didn't know how to show it. "You always do," he added, his tone softer now as he spoke to her, his eyes searching the water for a source of the blood he had seen... or was it all in his head?

[Charity Denvers]

Charity looked at him, seeing the concern in his eyes. Even though they fought all the time, they still cared about each other and their well being. Little did he know, she was slowly and painfully dying. When he spoke, she listened, hanging on every word.

She shook her head when he said that she could have just said so if she wanted him to leave. The truth was, she never wanted him to leave. She looked back at him, her eyes glistening a bit as she looked at him. She wanted to tell him everything, tell him about the Leukemia, tell him about her feelings. Yet, when she decided she wanted to, the words choked in her throat and they never made it out.

"I don't want you to leave, Jay..." She said softly as she wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she felt the water spray over her and on Jaycub. She sighed as she slowly turned back to him and licked the corner of her mouth. "I just haven't been getting alot of sleep, okay? It's not you.." She said and brushed a hand through her hair again.

She lied to him so much, it pained her. He deserved to know the truth, but wouldn't it hurt more when he knew that she would be no more some day? Sooner rather than later? Or would he make the best of it and treat it like it was something that happened everyday?

She tilted her head to the side and squeezed her arms tightly, or as tightly as her strength would let her today. Which was non-existant. She was weaker than she's ever been. She could stand fine but that was about it. Her breathing was a bit labored at times but it was the moving that really took alot out of her. She didn't want to be weak around Jaycub, knowing that would give herself away.

"I haven't slept in days." She said, a good cover up incase she collapsed. She looked up at him, smiling slightly at him. All Charity wanted to do was lay down and not move. Her body was screaming for a bed yet she was standing there, looking up at the guy she longed to give her heart to, but knew that it would never happen.

[Jaycub Johnson]

Jaycub didn't know about her condition. Hell, he'd thought that she was mad at him or something, which really, weren't they mad at each other all the time? It felt like it, but it also felt like something else. Something that he didn't understand, or just wouldn't. He glanced over at her when she told him that she didn't want him to leave. He hadn't planned to, unless she asked, but it just felt like he was invading her privacy or something...

But hey, when had that stopped him before?

"Why haven't you been sleeping?" Jaycub asked her softly as he turned his head to look at her, his concern replacing the suspicion that he had been feeling. She had said that it wasn't him, but for some reason, he just couldn't bring himself to buy into her story. "Don't tell me you have insomnia too," he added with a small sigh and a rather bitter chuckle as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

[Charity Denvers]

Charity looked back up at Jaycub again as he asked her why she hasn't been sleeping. If only she could tell him the truth. The fact that the pain was intense enough that it kept her up at night. That she slept for an hour then was up for a long time again. Sleep was hard for her to hold onto when she finally got it.

She laughed when he made the insomnia comment. She could use that as an excuse. But suddenly her surroundings started to spin. She groaned and held her head, fighting it all back. Now? Why now? She thought to herself as she staggered back a bit. She laughed a bit, trying to hide the pain and fear.

"I'm so weak.." She said with a smile as she reached out and grabbed Jaycub's arm and leaned against him. She rested her head on his shoulder and gasped her breathing out.

"Jay...can you help me home...I'm about to lose all mobility in my legs." She said, half joking. When in reality, she was having another attack. She wasn't going to tell him that though, the fear of telling him killing her inside.

"Please.." She whispered, almost pleading to him as she gripped his arm tighter. If he asked, she was chalking it up to no sleep for four days and that it had finally gotten the best of her.

[Jaycub Johnson]

Jaycub noticed the sudden change in her, almost a second before she expressed it outloud. Her laugh, there was something wrong with it, like if it was broken. He frowned, the lines getting deeper when she spoke and grabbed his arm, leaning against him now for support.

"Charity?" Jaycub asked in a stern, but concerned tone. He could feel his heart jump up into his throat when she said that her legs were going to give out, his arm snaking around her arms and wrapping around her waist to make sure that it didn't happen, not on his watch. He clenched his jaw when he felt her grip his arm tighter. Something was wrong and it wasn't lack of sleep. He could feel it in his bones.

"It's okay, I've got you," Jaycub said to her softly, not asking her anything right now because he could see how bad a state she was in. It didn't really matter what it was, not right this second, and all he was worried about was getting her home. He would figure out what the hell was going on later. Her safety came before his confusion. "If it gets too bad, I'm going to carry you," he added, not really much of a question, but more of a warning. "I don't want you to fall and hurt yourself."

He paused for a moment before continuing. "And you're going to sleep... I'll stay myself, or I'll get someone to watch you. I don't like to see you like this." Although his words were a little rough around the edges, it was all tough love, just like it had always been. He hated her, but he loved her too, and he just felt that it was his responsibility to look after her, though he didn't know when this feeling began, but he knew that it wouldn't end.

[Charity Denvers]

Charity looked to Jaycub as he wrapped his arms around her and she felt his warmth. She was so cold, everything hurt. She leaned on him, listening to his words, knowing that he meant well by all of them. She coughed slightly and looked up at him, smiling slightly.

"I don't need a baby sitting Jay." She said softly as she looked to the opening to leave the area. She started to move toward it, still weak in the knees. She had Jaycub there for support but she knew that her legs would be the first to go. She gulped a bit, the water spraying on her face, it felt good, yet she didn't notice it.

Then, as if like clock work, her legs gave and she grunted, not falling but gripping onto Jaycub tightly. She shuddered and looked up at him, sadness in her eyes. She knew that her body was trying to tell her something but she wasn't listening, as usual.

"Jay.." She whispered, holding onto him tightly. She'd be fine in the morning, and she'd have alot to explain. Lack of sleep, she was sticking to it. Like this cancer. She was sticking to it.

[Jaycub Johnson]

Jaycub sighed softly when she said that she didn't need him to babysit her. He tried to believe her, but he couldn't. He knew that something was wrong and he couldn't shake it off. Without another word, Jaycub slipped one arm behind her legs, sweeping her off of her feet and bringing her up into his arms. His heart skipped a beat for a moment, but he pushed those feelings away as he tore his gaze away from her and looked forward towards the exit.

"Shut up," he said in a mock tone of irritation, though he knew that it had failed because he couldn't be mad at her. He continued walking, picking up the pace a little now that he was carrying her. "And I'm not going to be there as your babysitter... I'd like to be there as your friend."

For once, Jaycub didn't bother to hide how he felt. He was worried and he wasn't going to leave her alone like that. He didn't care if she pretended like she didn't want him there. She was going to get some rest and hopefully this would all go away and she would be better in the morning. Little did he know that the battle was only beginning.

"We don't have to fight today. Enemies take holidays too, you know," Jaycub said in his usual soft, quiet tone, while a soft grin spread across his features and settled there, though it was contradicted by the concern and worry in his eyes.

[Charity Denvers]

Charity looked to Jaycub as he swept her up into his arms with ease. Her face came face to face with his own and she looked into his eyes for a brief moment. There was something about him that just made her crazy for him yet he pissed her off so easily. She listened to him as he spoke to her, carrying her out from behind the waterfall and on his way to take her own. She looked up at him before she slowly laid her head down on his shoulder.

She listened as he said he'd rather be there as her friend then her babysitter. She looked away a bit, smiling slightly. She shook her head when he said that enemies take holidays too. She groaned, the dizziness taking a hold on her, forcing her into a passing out stage of her attack.

"You're not my enemy, Jay Jay.." Charity whispered as her face nuzzled his neck, feeling his warmth, then her arm went limp over his and she passed out.

[/size]

[Jaycub Johnson]

Jaycub smiled softly when he felt her rest her head against his shoulder. He didn't acknowledge the looks that he was getting, as he and his brother were well known in the island, having been born and raised there. He frowned when he heard her groan, still not smiling not even when he felt her nuzzle his neck, though the contact did make him get goosebumps.

He licked his lips, but didn't say anything to Charity when she told him that he wasn't her enemy and then passed out. He just kept walking, watching as his shoes left their prints in the sand. He lifted one of his hands up to her face, feeling her forehead, before reaching for her wrists. Her hands seemed to be a little cold, but her pulse appeared to be steady.

Stopping for a moment, Jaycub balanced her so that he could hold her with one arm and then reached into his back pocket with the other hand, pulling out a pair of black gloves. He sat down on a large boulder and slipped them on to her hands, then taking a deep breath and resting for a moment.

He ran his hand gently up and down her bare right arm without even looking or even realizing what he was doing, his gaze briefly captivated by the ocean.

Jaycub could feel his stomach doing flip flops as he tried hard to believe that it was just lack of sleep that Charity was so drained from, but there was a lump in his throat that he couldn't swallow, but he pretended to anyway, for her sake.

He was always pretending... that his mother's death hadn't bothered him... that everything was behind him now and that he wasn't scared of making relationships with people... that he wasn't scared of losing them. He was always pretending that he was okay, even when he wasn't, which is why he was so worried about Charity, because something told him that she was pretending too.

"I need to keep going," Jaycub muttered quietly to himself, taking her securely into his arms as he stood up again, continuing his walk towards her safehaven. He glanced down at her every now and then, as if checking to make sure that she was still breathing.